Coma
by StarDaze18
Summary: What if you could go back in time...to one of the best times of your life...but then you found out that none of it was real? New chapter up, FINALLY!
1. Prologue

Hey! Thought I'd try a little drama again…I've had this idea jumping around in my head for awhile, and I finally decided to let it out. It may suck, I don't know. You can let me know by leaving a review! Aren't you nice.

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters. I never have, and I never will. They belong to Bright, Kaufman and Crane. There, I said it. Can I keep dreaming now?

Coma

Monica Geller-Bing stepped into her apartment building and sighed in pleasure as the cool air from the vents hit her. New York City in mid-July was no joke, especially when you worked in the kitchen of a busy restaurant all day. Between the sweltering heat and the burning stove, the entire staff had been rushing to get back to their cool, air-conditioned apartment buildings. But Monica had been stuck, as it had been a particularly busy day, even for one of the most popular restaurants in Manhattan.

First, a waiter had discovered a crate of chicken that had not been properly stored. It was lucky that he did, or the customers could have easily been inflicted with salmonella. Monica had been the one to call the company and complain, and then go out and explain to the customers why they could not order chicken. Then, the newest waiter, a complete klutz, had spilled wine on Gene Hackman, who was dining there with some producers, and set a small grease fire to the kitchen, which had luckily been put out easily. Still, Monica had been ordered to let him go.

She brushed sweaty strands of hair out of her face as she stepped up to the mailbox. At least it's not humid in New York, she thought. Humidity was horrible on Monica's hair.

She opened her mailbox. Sure enough, it was full. Chandler always forgets to check the mail, she thought, smiling at the thought of her husband. No doubt Chandler would make her forget how exhausting her day was. Of course, that was because he had a job he liked. Not that she didn't like her job…it was just tiring sometimes.

Monica slowly flipped through the mail. Bill. Bill. Bill. Letter from Mom. Great, thought Monica. She's probably wondering why I haven't returned her calls. Invite to some museum benefit from when Ross worked there. Monica wished they would just take her off their list already, it's not like she ever showed up. TV Guide, to Ms. Chanandler Bong. We really need to straighten that out, thought Monica.

She slowly trudged up the stairs to her apartment, battling the increasing heat as she rose. Chandler better have the air-conditioning on, she thought grimly. The idea of another minute of this temperature was almost too much to bear.

Six more steps to go. Now five. Four. Three. Two. She paused for a minute as she stared at the last step. Come on Monica, she urged herself. You can do it. She pulled herself up the last step and sighed in relief.

She stepped over to the apartment across from hers where her friends Joey and Rachel lived. She figured she might as well say hi, since she doubted she'd have the strength to walk over in the few hours before bed. She opened the door and peeked in. The apartment was empty. She called out their names, just to be sure, but no one answered. Wonder where they are, Monica thought to herself. Joey was an actor who rarely found work, and didn't usually leave his apartment during the day. Although Rachel worked, she was almost always home long before Monica was. She shrugged her shoulders and walked out, gently shutting the door behind her. She crossed the hall to her own apartment, and, Finally!, she thought, opened the door. 

A wave of cool air came rushing out to greet her, but that wasn't what caught Monica's attention. Instead of Chandler, her friends Rachel and Phoebe were sitting at the kitchen table. It wasn't unusual for their friends to be hanging around at Monica and Chandler's apartment, but what shocked Monica was the expressions on their faces.

Phoebe, who was very tough and not easily shaken, stared at Monica, her normally happily flushed face pale, and her eyes wide. Monica hadn't missed the beep of the phone in her hand, as though she had just hung up with someone.

Rachel had had her head down when Monica walked in and now raised it. Tears were streaming down her cheeks. This is what scared Monica the most. Sure, Rachel might cry a little now and then, but Monica had almost never seen her this emotional.

"Monica," Rachel whispered, but stopped, as though she couldn't continue. 

"What's going on?" Monica asked, her voice shaking. Visions of horrible things swam before her. What if one of her parents had died? What if something had happened to her nephew, Ben? What if it was Chandler? Oh, please, God, thought Monica desperately. Don't let it be Chandler!

"Mon," said Phoebe, walking toward her slowly. Monica thought her head might burst with the suspense.

What?, she screamed inside. What's wrong?

Though Phoebe seemed by far stronger, it was Rachel who managed to get the words out.

"It's Ross." 

Ooh. That's the prologue…if the wording was a little confusing, don't worry, it'll be much more straightforward in the next chapter. And I have no idea what NY is like in July, sorry about that. As for the coupling or what's going to happen, I ain't telling you nothing! So…please review! Thanks!


	2. Hospitals

Here's the next part of the story. Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, I appreciate it so much! I know those prologue things are kind of a pain to read when there's no dialogue. I make sure to write them just to torture you…lol…enjoy…

Chapter 1

"It's Ross."

The words repeated themselves over and over in Monica's head. Ross. Her older brother, Ross. One of the primary people in her life. Something had happened to him. And, judging from the looks on Rachel's and Phoebe's faces, it wasn't good.

"What happened," Monica whispered, struggling against the tears that threatened to spill over her eyes. "Is he…is he okay?"

"We don't know," said Phoebe quietly. "That was Joey I just got off the phone with. He and Chandler are with him at the hospital. There hasn't been any change in his condition."

"What happened to him?" Monica asked. "Was he in an accident, or-".

"He was hit. By a bus," Phoebe stated matter-of-factly.

"Oh, God!" Monica cried out. "By a bus!?! He couldn't have been! He's always so careful! People…people DIE from being hit by buses! Ross can't…he can't die! Ben needs him! We need him!" She began to cry. "I need him! He can't just go away like this!"

Rachel jumped out of her seat and hugged Monica, new tears running down her cheeks. "I know, Monica. Believe me, I know."

"Why!?!?" Monica yelled. "Why was he hit? Ross is always so careful!"

"The driver was speeding. He ran through a stop sign," Phoebe whispered. "The people who saw it said Ross probably wouldn't have been hit, except there was a little boy in front of him. Ross pushed him out of the way and fell." Phoebe finally began to cry, which scared Monica and Rachel even more than they already had been. Phoebe never cried. "He didn't get up in time."

"The doctors don't know if he's going to make it," said Rachel, barely able to get the words out through her tears. "He's in a coma."

"We have to go," said Monica, all fatigue forgotten. Adrenaline was now flowing through her, and it would keep her going until she knew her brother was all right. "We need to go to the hospital and be there with him."

"We know," Phoebe said, grabbing her keys. "We were waiting for you."

"Then let's go," said Rachel, running out the door with Monica and Phoebe behind her.

They took a cab to the hospital. Luckily, it wasn't rush hour, so they got there fairly quickly. 

"Is he okay?" Rachel panted as they ran up to Chandler and Joey. "Is he going to be all right?"

"They don't know," said Chandler, his face expressionless. "The doctors don't know anything. He's still out of it."

"Why can't they DO something!?!?" Monica stormed. "They're supposed to be doctors! My brother is in there, maybe dying, and no one's doing anything about it!"

Chandler took her in his arms and rocked her slowly, letting her cry into his shoulder. "They're doing all they can. They said he has severe brain damage." He made a noise like he was struggling not to cry. "He has about a 20 percent chance of survival."

"20 percent?" said Phoebe, her face draining of color. "So they assume he's not going to survive at all?" Rachel gasped and sank down slowly in the chair next to Joey's.

"I know, it sucks," said Joey softly. "They say that if he does live, he's probably gonna need physical therapy and all that stuff before he can leave."

"Oh my God," Monica whispered. "Can I see him?"

"Family can, two at a time," said Chandler. "Which means you and I can go in. I've been waiting for you."

"Let's go," Monica said, and they hurried toward the room where Ross lay, hovering between life and death.

They ran into the room, and Monica gasped. Her brother was hooked up to at least a dozen machines, most of which seemed to be monitoring his head. His arm was in cast, and his leg had a splint on it. 

"The doctor said most of the damage was contained to his head," Chandler told her. "The rest of him is pretty much okay."

Monica and Chandler walked forward and looked down at Ross. "Hey, buddy," whispered Chandler. "I don't know if you can hear me. The doctors say it's worth a try." He laughed softly. "Ross, I realize that being hit by a bus isn't a picnic, but you have to come back soon and talk to us. Let us know you're okay. We're all worried sick about you. Monica here is so upset she can't even talk. And you should see Rachel, back in the waiting room. She can barely stop crying. And the rest of us aren't exactly dancing in joy, either." He paused. "Wake up soon, Ross. We need you." He stepped back, and Monica moved shakily forward.

"Hi," she whispered. "Ross, I really don't know what to say…just…you can't leave us here," she said, fresh tears appearing in her eyes. "You just can't. We need you too much. You're my brother. Chandler's college roommate. Phoebe, Joey and Rachel's friend. If you go, it'll never be the same." She carefully squeezed his hand. "Please." She started crying too hard to continue. Chandler wrapped his arm around her and led her slowly from the room.

As they exited, they came very close to bumping into a doctor who was on his way in. "Oh! I assume you are relatives of Mr. Geller," said the doctor.

"Yes," said Monica, wiping her eyes. "I'm his sister, Monica, and this is my husband, Chandler Bing."

"Nice to meet you," said the doctor, shaking their hands. "I'm Dr. Brown. I just examined Mr. Geller a few minutes ago, and I wanted to let you know he's making an improvement."

Monica gasped.

"He is?" Chandler said excitedly. "You mean there's a better chance he's going to live?"

"A much better chance," smiled Dr. Brown. "I'm almost certain he's going to wake up very soon, and his chance of permanent brain damage is minimal."

"That's great!" shrieked Monica, clearly delighted. "How soon do you think he'll wake up?"

"I would say in the next twenty-four hours or so," answered Dr. Brown.

"Twenty-four hours?" Chandler frowned. "That's not soon. That's like, a whole day. AND a whole night."  
"It may easily be sooner," replied the doctor. "That's the maximum time slot I estimate."

"We have to go tell the others! Thank you, Doctor!" Monica grabbed Chandler's hand and dragged him over to the waiting room.

"He's going to be okay!" she called as they sprinted in. "He's going to wake up soon! He's going to be all right!"

"Thank God!" Rachel gasped, jumping to her feet.

"Can we see him?" asked Phoebe eagerly, with Joey right behind her.

"Sorry, it's still family only," said Chandler.

"No! They can't do that," Rachel wailed. "I need to see him NOW!"

"Sorry Rach," Monica shrugged. "Rules are rules."

"Yeah, maybe to you," said Rachel, eyeing the receptionist's desk. Before anyone could ask what she meant, she was walking up to it.

"Excuse me," she said sweetly. "I would like to get in to see Mr. Ross Geller, please."

"Are you a relative?" asked the receptionist, checking her chart.

"I'm his girlfriend," Rachel replied. The others stared at each other, shocked. They couldn't believe how easily the lie had come out of Rachel's mouth.

"Go ahead," replied the nurse, buzzing the door open. Rachel sped through it and, after exchanging another shocked look, Monica and Chandler ran after her.

"Rachel! I cannot believe you just did that," hissed Monica and they speedwalked down the hallway. "You just lied in a hospital!"

"Well, it COULD have been true," Rachel argued. "I WAS his girlfriend, more than once! I was married to him for over a month, for crying out loud!"

"Yeah, because he lied to you," Chandler said.

"I still was," said Rachel. "And I don't care what you say, I have to see him! I need to know he's all right!"

"Mr. and Mrs. Bing, back again?" It was Dr. Brown.

"Yes, sir," said Chandler.

"And who is this? Another relative?" he asked, looking at Rachel.

"I'm his girlfriend," Rachel said quickly, before Monica and Chandler could say anything.

"Excellent," he said. "Go on in."

TBC

Ha! I finished! And I realize that Ross would be in much much worse shape if he was hit by a bus, but it's my story, kay? Maybe it was a little bus. Use your imagination. Thanks so much for reading my stuff, and if you wanna make me really happy, leave a review! Thanks a bunch!


	3. Awakenings

Bit of a quicker update here, as I currently have no life…this is where the twist comes in! Mwahaha…anyway, enough of my ramblings. Thank you so much for reviewing, please do the same for this chapter!

Chapter 2

Rachel burst into Ross's room with Monica and Chandler at her heels. When she saw Ross with all the machines hooked up to him, she cried out.

"Oh, God!" she yelled. "Look at all the machines! How can he be okay? Look at him!"

"Rachel, calm down. These are some of the best doctors in New York, and they say he's going to be okay. He'll be fine," Chandler said comfortingly.

"Yes, he shows clear signs that he will be waking up very shortly," added Dr. Brown, who had followed them into the room and was now bending over Ross, checking his vital signs. "He's out of the coma. If you would like to bring in your friends from the waiting room, they may come in. That way, they can be here when he wakes up."

"Thank you Doctor," Monica said. "I'll get them." She ran out of the room.

"So he's really coming out of it, right?" Chandler asked anxiously.

"Yes, he is," replied Dr. Brown. "Although, be warned, he may be a little disoriented when he comes out, his head had quite a shock there."

"But he'll be back to normal soon, right?" asked Rachel nervously. The idea of living near the anti-Ross for a long time scared her. 

"Oh, of course," Dr. Brown assured her. "No, he'll be back to normal in no time at all." Rachel and Chandler sighed in relief.

"Here we are," called Monica, walking through the door with Phoebe and Joey.

"Excellent," said Dr. Brown, squinting down at Ross. "It looks as though he's waking up right now…" Sure enough, Ross's eyelids were fluttering.

"Give him air!" screamed Monica, diving forward and pulling Rachel and Chandler away from the bed, sliding into their spots.

"God Monica, he just came out of a coma. Don't make him deaf," muttered Joey.

Monica pretended not to hear. "Ross? Can you hear me?"

Ross slowly opened his eyes. "Wha..What? Monica?"

"HE'S ALIIIIIIVE!!!" screamed Phoebe, rushing forward to hug him. Everyone else followed quickly.

"Oh my God, Ross! I'm so glad you're awake! Don't you EVER do that to me again!" yelled Monica.

"Okay, sorry Mon, I just had so much fun being run over, I'll try not to do it again," said Ross.

"Sarcasm," Chandler commented. "Welcome back, man."

"Mr. Geller, I'm Dr. Brown, I've been attending you since you were brought in this morning," said the doctor. "Can you tell me your full name?"

"Ross Geller."

"Good. Relatives?"

"Monica Geller, my sister. Judy and Jack Geller are my parents."

"And what year were you born in?"

"1969." (AN: I guessed.)

"Good. You seem in excellent shape, considering."

"Yeah dude, you really freaked us out there," said Joey.

"Yeah, I'm with Monica here, NEVER scare me like that again," added Rachel. "I thought you were going to die!"

"Aw, I'm sorry, sweetie," said Ross, hugging her and kissing her on the cheek. "I won't do it again."

Rachel looked at the others in confusion. She had hardly expected such an enthusiastic response. "Um…what?"

"Hey, I can't go diving under buses and letting my girlfriend worry, now can I?" said Ross, smiling at her. Rachel's mouth dropped open. Girlfriend? His girlfriend? What the heck was going on? 

"Okay…um, I'll be right back, okay?" she said quickly, grabbing Monica's hand and dragging her over to the corner of the room. Chandler, Joey and Phoebe followed quickly. "Okay, did he just say what I think he just said?" Rachel hissed.

"He called you his girlfriend!" whispered Phoebe. "You guys didn't get back together without telling us, did you?" 

"Of course not! I have no idea what's going on here!" Rachel whispered.

"Well, let's just go talk to him," Chandler said quietly. The slowly walked back over to his bed.

"Hey, Ross, you and Rachel aren't like, sneaking around and being together without telling us, right?" asked Joey instantly. The others groaned.

"Subtlety, Joey. You should look it up," Monica muttered.

"Of course not, Joe. You know about it," said Ross, amused. "Why?"

"Oh, I thought maybe you guys were like doing what Monica and Chandler did," said Joey. Monica and Chandler rolled their eyes.

"And what did Monica and Chandler do?" asked Ross, clearly thinking the whole thing was a joke.

"You know, like when you all got back from London," said Phoebe.

"What are you talking about, Pheebs? We've never been to London," said Ross. "Sounds like you're having those dreams again." Everyone else looked at each other in shock. Never been to London? What was going on here?

"Hey Ross, have you ever been to Vegas?" said Chandler suddenly.

"Of course not," replied Ross, surprised. "You've known me since college, you know that."

"Dr. Brown, we need to talk to you NOW," said Monica, grabbing the doctor and taking him out in the hallway. The other four friends ran after him. "What the heck is going on with him?" Monica asked. "He's acting so weird, like he doesn't remember all those trips we took! What is wrong with my brother?"

"I don't know, are you sure those haven't just slipped out of his mind?" asked Dr. Brown. "Maybe if you ask him a question he couldn't have forgotten…"

"I've got one," said Phoebe suddenly. She walked back into the room with the doctor. The rest listened at the door.

"Hey Ross, what's Monica's current relationship status?" asked Phoebe.

"WHAT?" hissed Monica.

"Why, Phoebe?" asked Ross.

"Just to clarify," she answered calmly.

"Well, as far as I know, she's still trying to get over Richard," said Ross. "That's my sister's ex-boyfriend, they broke up recently at a wedding," he explained to the doctor. "She's so upset about it." Rachel, Monica, Chandler and Joey stared at each other, stunned.

"Your sister? Mrs. Bing?" asked the doctor.

"What?" Ross sounded confused. "No, Bing is my friend Chandler's last name. You got them confused."

"I see." Dr. Brown paused. "Mr. Geller, what year is it?"

"1997, of course." Joey started counting on his fingers.

"Uh huh well okay bye!" said Phoebe, walking calmly out the door. As soon as it shut behind her, she freaked out. "Oh my God oh my God!" she yelled.

"1997? Does he really think it's 1997?" asked Monica.

"It would appear so," said the doctor.

"And you call this a LITTLE DELUSIONAL?" hissed Chandler.

"Well, what are we going to do? We can't exactly let him live in fantasy land!" said Rachel.

"Actually, it might be better to pretend that it is 1997," said Dr. Brown. "It would be less confusing for him that way, and he will come back into the present in his own time."

"Yeah, less confusing for him, but what about us?" said Phoebe. "We have to pretend we've gone back, what six years?"

"Yes, I think that would be best," said Dr. Brown. "Now, whatever was going on in your lives six years ago, he thinks that's what is currently happening, so be careful. What was happening in 1997? Think carefully."

"Oh my gosh, he thinks we're still together! He doesn't remember the breakup!" Rachel gasped.

"Chandler and I got together in London. If he doesn't remember that, he doesn't know we're together!" exclaimed Monica.

"That means he doesn't know about his second and third divorces," added Chandler.

"He doesn't know he moved," said Phoebe. "He'll try to go back to his old apartment."

"He won't remember London, or Vegas, or Montauk," added Joey.

"Oh man, there's so much he doesn't know!" said Monica. "How are we going to do this?"

"Just do your best," Dr. Brown told her. "Right now, I suggest you go back in and talk to him."

So the five friends walked back into the hospital room and smiled at Ross. "Hey!" he said happily. "The nurse said there's a good chance I'll be going home tonight!"

"Oh, but you'd better not go back to your apartment," Phoebe said quickly. The others shook their heads. "Nope." "Definitely not a good idea."

"And why not?" asked Ross, laughing a little.

"Because we don't want you alone, honey!" said Monica. 

"Well, where should I go then, if you guys don't want me home?"

"Hey! Maybe you could stay at Ugly Naked Guy's apartment!" said Joey excitedly, attempting weakly to steer Ross to where he actually lived. Chandler rolled his eyes.

"Why would I do that?" asked Ross. "Me, stay in Ugly Naked Apartment? Not in this lifetime!"

"Well, then I guess you'll just have to spend the night with Rachel," sighed Monica. Rachel stared at her, eyes popping.

"Yeah, you'll just have to stay with me," she said slowly. "I just hope Monica and Chandler don't make too much noise in the next room."

"WHAT?" yelled Monica, Ross and Chandler simultaneously.

"Nothing, nothing," smiled Rachel, taking Ross's hand and glaring at everyone else from behind him. This is going to be harder than I thought, she thought.

TBC

Oh yes, there's a twist! Heeheehee. What, you thought he would come out of the coma good as new? What fun would that be? PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW!! THANK YOU!!


	4. Homecomings

Well, here's the next chapter, FINALLY!! I know the wait has been forever, I'm so sorry! And I thought I would be able to update more with school out for the summer! Oh well…please review this chapter, as always, I would appreciate it SO MUCH! Thanks! Wow, I need to get a new pre-story speech, this one's getting kinda old…

Chapter 3

"Well here we are, Ross! Monica and **RACHEL's** apartment!" said Joey loudly as they walked through the door. The others groaned in frustration.

"Thanks Joe," said Ross, amused. "I really wasn't sure."

"Yeah, you know, it's always been Monica and Rachel's! No one else, like, say, Chandler, ever moved in!" Joey continued.

Ross laughed. "Yeah, like that would ever happen!" Monica glared at Joey.

"Okay, I'd better go home and get to bed, I have to get up really early tomorrow," said Phoebe quickly. "Good night everyone!" Everyone called out their good-byes as she left. 

"I'd better turn in too," said Chandler. "'Night." He began walking toward his bedroom.

"Whoa there, Chandler!" laughed Monica, grabbing his arm. "Your bedroom's that way, remember?" she said, pointing to the door.

"Oh, right!" said Chandler after a pause. He and Monica laughed quickly. "See, sometimes I get confused," he told Ross, Rachel and Joey. "You know, the Earth spins like a thousand miles an hour, it's enough to make anybody a little disoriented."

"Well, let me help you, let's go," said Joey, grabbing Chandler's arm and walking him over to his apartment.

"Well, what do you think, sweetie?" Ross said to Rachel. "Do you feel like going to bed, too?"

"What?" said Rachel quickly. "Bed? You and me? Both of us?"

"Well, you guys won't let me back to my apartment, so I guess so, yeah," said Ross.

"Yeah, it's just, I don't know, I don't feel really tired right now, you know?" Rachel said in a much higher voice than usual. "But if you want to go, I understand," she added. "You must be really tired. In fact, you can have the bed if you like, and I can just take the couch-"

"Oh, no," said Ross. "I'm not tired at all. Why don't we just stay out here for a while and watch a movie?"

"Sounds good!" said Rachel brightly. "Monica, why don't you watch with us! You're not tired, are you?"

"Of course not," Monica said, trying to stifle a huge yawn.

"Great, just let me put my stuff in the bedroom," said Ross. Monica and Rachel had run to Ross's apartment and gotten some clothes for him to use until he got his memory back. 

"Okay!" called Monica. "And hey, don't be surprised if it looks a little different, the guys redecorated while you were in the hospital so Rachel was…distracted…" She trailed off at the end, trying to come up with something that made sense and failing miserably.

"That's fine," said Ross. Joey, Chandler and Phoebe had moved most of Rachel's furniture back into the position it had been in six years ago, but they couldn't put everything back exactly. They figured they would just have to do their best and cover it up. 

Ross entered "Rachel's" room.

"Oh my god, Monica!" hissed Rachel the second the door was shut. "This is so much harder than I thought! I figured it was just going to be like, oh yeah, sure, we're going out, I still live here, but it's not! There's too much stuff involved!"

"Yeah, I know, Rachel," said Monica calmly. "We all knew it was gonna be tough! But with luck, he'll remember the past six years within the next couple of days, and it'll all be over."

"But what if he doesn't?" Rachel asked. "What if he never remembers? We can't let him live a lie forever! Every single day, we're gonna have to hide newspapers so he doesn't see the date. We have to take down our calendars.  Heck, we can't even let him watch the news! It's a miracle that he hasn't noticed that we all look like we've aged six years overnight!"

"He'll remember, don't worry," Monica said comfortingly. "The doctor said it was just the shock of the accident, and it'll take like four days at most for him to remember everything. It's going to be okay, Rachel."

"Yeah, I know." Rachel sighed. "I'm just scared. I mean, I'm going to be spending a lot of time with him, now that he thinks we're still dating. What if I let something slip?"

"You won't. And you won't even have to worry in a couple days. Just calm down," Monica told her. Rachel nodded. "Right, I'm going to go change. The movie better be short, though, I'm really tired."

"No problem," Rachel said. Monica walked toward her bedroom, then stopped and turned around. 

"You know, Rach…if this pretending upsets you this much, we could find a way to tell Ross you weren't going out any more. We could tell him you broke up right before the accident, and he must have just forgotten."

"Oh no, it's okay, I don't really want to do that to him," Rachel answered, shaking her head.

"Why not?" Monica asked. "It would be one less thing we have to fake, and anyway, it's the truth!"

"Well, yeah," said Rachel. "I just don't think I could do that to him." Seeing Monica's look of confusion, she added, "You weren't there the night we broke up, Mon. You didn't see his face. He was so hurt, so heartbroken…" Rachel trailed off, and Monica was astonished to see tears in her eyes. "I just don't think I could make him feel like that again."

"But Rachel, sooner or later, he's going to remember," Monica reminded her gently.

"I know. But this way, he'll remember that he was over it by the accident. It won't upset him. I just couldn't stand seeing that look on his face again." Rachel walked toward the bathroom, since her room was still occupied, and Monica shook her head and entered her bedroom.

Rachel walked out of the bathroom in her pajamas about three minutes later. Monica was still in her room, but Ross was sitting on the couch. 

"Hey, Rach," he said, smiling at her. She smiled weakly back and plopped onto the chair. "What movie did you want to watch?"

"I don't know," Rachel answered. "Doesn't really matter."

"Alrighty then," said Ross. He picked a tape at random and put it in the VCR. "What's the matter? You look…"

"Tired? I am," said Rachel, using her hand to cover up a yawn. I was with you at the hospital all day yesterday, remember?"

"Yeah," said Ross slowly. "But it's more than that. You look like something's bothering you. Everything all right aat work?"

"Work! Yeah, that's it…things are really hectic right now at work right now," Rachel said quickly. She wondered where Ross remembered her working. Was she still at Central Perk? Or was he thinking about Bloomingdale's?

"It doesn't have anything to do with Mark, does it?" asked Ross, frowning. Oh. Bloomingdale's.

"Oh, God," Rachel muttered. She had completely forgotten about Ross's issues with Mark. "Ross, for literally the thousandth time, there is absolutely nothing going on between Mark and I," she said expressionlessly, keeping up the "six years ago" charade.  Or you and me, for that matter, she added silently.

"All right, sorry," Ross said guiltily. "But I still think he has a crush on you." Rachel smiled, realizing that Ross was right. Mark had had a crush on her, hadn't he?

"Hey," said Monica, coming out of her bedroom. "What are we talking about?"

"Nothing," Ross said automatically.

"We were talking about Mark," Rachel said. "Ross thinks he has a crush on me. Isn't that interesting?"

"Rach!" said Ross. 

"It's all right, Ross. Monica knows all about Mark," Rachel told him. "Don't worry about it."

"Mark, huh?" Monica laughed. "I forgot about him. Yeah Rach, you think maybe he does have a crush on you?" she teased. Rachel glared at her.

"What do you mean, you forgot?" Ross said, surprised. "You told me at Joey's party that he was 'so dreamy'. I believe the phrase you used was, 'hamana hamana hamana'."

"These things can slip your mind," said Monica easily, still grinning.

"Yeah," agreed Ross. He didn't want to discuss Mark anymore. "Speaking of Joey's party, by the way, anyone know what happened between Chandler and Joey's sister?" Monica stopped smiling.

"Yeah, Monica," said Rachel, noticing that mention of Monica's husband's love life seemed to annoy her. "What happened? Did Chandler and Mary Angela get together? Are they gonna have a steamy, hot relationship? I mean, she IS related to Joey."

"It didn't work out," Monica told both of them, irritated. "Chandler didn't belong with her, anyway."

"Well, who does he belong with, Mon?" Rachel asked, enjoying herself. "You?"

Ross laughed. "As if!" He said. "Monica and Chandler? I am so sure!"

"Yeah, funny idea, isn't it?" Monica said, annoyed. "Now how about we just watch the stupid movie so I can go to bed?" Ross and Rachel looked at each other and smiled. Then they all sat back to watch the movie.

TBC

Okay, that might have sucked. Nothing really happened in this chapter, did it? Next chapter will (hopefully) be more exciting! Again, I am so sorry for the wait! Please please PLEASE review! Thank you Amsterdam, good night!


	5. Calls

Hey! Thank you SO MUCH for all your reviews, once again, SORRY FOR THE DELAY! Hopefully I'll get it up earlier next time… To answer your questions, yes, this CAN be an R&R story, if you people want it to be! The Amsterdam at the end of the last chapter was a quote from TOW the Football. Chandler says it, and I crack up every time.

Chapter 4

"Hey Pheebs, hey Joey." Rachel walked into Central Perk and plopped onto the chair. She was exhausted.

"Hey Rach, what's up?" said Phoebe.

"Yeah, how'd it go with Ross last night?" said Joey.

"Ugh, it was so tiring!" Rachel said. "We all stayed up to watch a movie, and I didn't want Ross and I to be alone because I was afraid of what he might do. So I made Monica watch with us, but she kept falling asleep and I kept having to pinch her."

"Pinch her where?" asked Joey instantly. Rachel and Phoebe automatically ignored him.

"So what happened when the movie ended?" Phoebe asked. "Was it weird having to share a bed with him?"

"Kind of," Rachel admitted. "I mean, we've done it before, obviously, so it wasn't THAT weird, it's just that we haven't done it in so long."

"What, so you did it?" said Joey quickly. Phoebe sat up, her eyes widening.

"Of course not!" Rachel said, surprised. "Please! It's been like six years!"

"Not to him," muttered Phoebe, slumping back down.

"Yeah, you know Rach, you could always break it off with him and pretend like you did it right before the accident, he probably wouldn't know the difference," Joey told her.

"Why do people keep telling me that!?!" Rachel said, irritated. "I KNOW I could break it off if I wanted to, but the fact is, I don't! I'm not going to put him through that when he'll remember in like twenty-four hours anyway."

"That's fine, Rach. Joey was just suggesting it. He didn't mean anything," said Phoebe.

"Ugh, I know, I'm sorry, you guys," said Rachel. "I'm just tired. I was up all night thinking about how Ross was lying like a foot away from me. I'm so tired."

"Hey everyone!" Chandler and Monica came in holding hands. "Wow, that was pretty weird last night, huh Rach," Monica commented.

"Yeah, sure was. By the way Mon, that was really smooth this morning, the way you managed to sneak out and see Chandler.  Ross wasn't TOO suspicious or anything."

"What happened?" asked Phoebe as Monica and Chandler sat down next to her.

"Oh, she made some random excuse about having to go buy floor cleaner," Rachel said mildly. "Just because he doesn't remember the last six years doesn't mean he forgot that you have like seven bottles jammed under the sink, Monica."

"I've never been a very good liar, you could have helped," Monica defended herself. "So where does he think I went? He didn't see me go to Joey's, did he?"

"Nope," Rachel said. "He thinks you went over to Richard's to try and get him back. Apparently he has a very selective memory."

"The big tree," Chandler muttered.

"Hey, where is Ross, anyway?" Joey asked suddenly. "He didn't try to go to the museum, did he?"

"No, I told him that they called and asked him to take a break," Rachel said, frowning slightly at her choice of words. "And he knows we don't want him at his apartment. He said he was going to get a book from the library really quickly, he'll be here soon."

Right on cue, Ross stepped through the door. "Hey guys!" he called. They all waved and smiled. Chandler and Monica instantly dropped hands and hopped two feet away from each other. Ross sank down on the chair next to Rachel, who looked slightly uncomfortable by the closeness, but she made no move to scoot over. 

"So, what are we talking about?" Ross asked.

"Oh, y'know, the usual," Joey said quickly.

"Yup," Phoebe agreed instantly. "The usual. Weather, sports, global warming, and everything else we usually talk about."

"Thanks Pheebs," Ross commented.

"Always." Phoebe smiled brightly.

"Anyway Rach, we should hurry if I'm going to walk you to work like usual," Ross told her. "Um, Monica, Chandler, why are you guys sitting so far apart?" Chandler and Monica mumbled excuses and scooted slightly closer together.

"Oh what, walk me to work?" Rachel echoed faintly. "Um, no, I really don't think that's a good idea."

"Why not?" asked Ross, puzzled. "It'll be just like it was before the accident, nothing's changed. I'll walk you to work, pick you up for lunch, and meet you for the way home."

That's right, Rachel thought. They had done that often. But not today, they couldn't do it then. How was she going to get out of this one? There was no way he'd ever believe that her office had moved…would he?

"Actually sweetie, I took a couple days off so I could spend some time with you and everybody else," Rachel said, surprising even herself with the ease with which she used the word "sweetie".

"Aw, you didn't have to do that," said Ross, surprised.

"Well, I did," Rachel laughed. "No work today! Maybe not tomorrow either! Or the next day!" However long it takes you to get your memory back, she added in her head. "Okay, can you get me a cup of coffee really quick? I've gotta run to the bathroom…"

"Sure," said Ross agreeably. He hopped up and walked over to the counter. The others watched him leave, then turned to face Rachel. 

"Liar, liar, pants on fire," sang Chandler softly.

"Dude, what are you? Five?" asked Joey. Chandler stared at him in disbelief.

"Oh, be quiet," Rachel snapped. "I gotta go call my work!" She leapt up and ran toward the payphone in the back.

"Oh man, this is really hard!" Phoebe whined as she, Joey, Rachel, Chandler and Monica walked into Monica's apartment. "You can't even mention the President, because he still thinks it's Bill Clinton. We have to hide the chick and the duck because he doesn't remember them existing. The only upshot is that he can't take us through his version of Star Wars: Attack of the Clones, because as far as he knows, it's not out yet." She grinned evilly.

"I know!" Chandler agreed. "I'm just glad we ditched him downstairs checking the mail and paying the cab driver, I need a few minutes in our time. This is too bizarre."

"I told you it was weird," Rachel said.

"It's like a flashback on some cheesy TV show." Monica shuddered. The phone rang.

"Should I grab that?" asked Joey, who was standing right next to the phone.

"Nah, let the machine get it," answered Monica. "Probably just some random telemarketer, it's that time of day." The phone kept ringing and ringing until, finally, the machine picked up.

"Hey, Dude! You've reached the apartment of Wayne and Garth. We're pretty busy now, but if you leave a message, we'll send you a signed photo pronto! Wayne's World! Wayne's World! Party time! Excellent!"

Everyone turned to stare at Chandler. "Hehehehe," he laughed nervously.

"YOU CHANGED THE MESSAGE AGAIN??" Monica shrieked.

"I'm sorry honey, I was bored!" Chandler stammered.

"OH PLEASE!" Monica shouted. "You know it's your favorite hobby!"

"Yeah man, take up basketball or something," Joey said, giving him a look.

"Oh yeah, just because the Knicks rule so much, right?" Chandler said sarcastically.

"Yeah the Knicks rule!" cheered Joey, completely changing his mood.

"Beep."

"Um, hi, Monica? Do you still live here?"

Everyone turned to stare at the answering machine in shock. It couldn't be…could it?

"Um, I'm sorry, I'm just trying to track Ross down, I've been calling his apartment every day for the past three days, and haven't gotten an answer. I suppose he's moved or something…if you know where he is, please tell him that…that it's not working out with this guy, and if Ross is willing, what he and I had was great, and I would really love just to give that another chance…I suppose there's not much of a chance you'll get this to him, but please Monica, please…okay then, bye." The caller hung up.

"Was…was that…?" Joey asked. Rachel turned on her heel and walked to her room.

"Yeah," said Monica, shocked, staring at the machine. "It was."

For the caller had had a familiar voice.

A very familiar female voice.

A very familiar female British voice.

GASP!!! Guess who? Lol, you probably guessed waaaaay before I told you. I'm so easy to read…*tear*. Naw, jk. PLEASE review this chapter, I know it was really short and not very eventful, but the I've planned out the next couple chapters (*plan laugh*) and they'll probably have a lot more action. So! Please read a review…thanks so much for reading…I'm a complete psycho…that pretty much wraps it up, see ya!


	6. Revelations

Grrrrr. School has to go away like right now, or I don't see how I'm ever going to be able to update again. Ack. Well anyways, here's the next part, hope you enjoy it and THANK YOU for the reviews!!

Chapter 5

"Oh my God," said Monica slowly, walking over to the phone. "Was that…was that…was it?"

"Well, it SOUNDED like Catherine Zeta Jones, with the accent and all," Joey said. "But I can't remember ever giving her your number." Everyone stared at him.

"It was Emily, Joey," Chandler told him.

"…OH."

"You've met Catherine Zeta Jones?" Phoebe asked.

"Of course not. That's why I didn't remember," Joey explained. Phoebe, Monica and Chandler stared at him for a minute, trying to figure it out, then shrugged and turned away.

"Oh god, it's Emily," said Monica, starting to freak out. "THE Emily. Emily who married Ross and tried to control him and wouldn't let him see Rachel ever again! The Emily Ross doesn't even remember!!"

"Crap, what are we going to do?" Phoebe yelled.

"Well, first thing, we erase the message," Chandler said quickly. The others nodded quickly in agreement and raced for the phone.

"No."

They stopped and turned. Rachel was standing in her bedroom door, her face expressionless but intense. She stared at them and shook her head. "No. You can't just erase the message. It's not right, it's not yours. The message is for Ross, only he should erase it."

"Rachel, Ross doesn't even know who this person is," said Monica. "And even if he did, he wouldn't want to talk to her! Don't you remember what she did to him?"

"Of course I do," Rachel snapped. "And I also remember when she called a few years ago and he chose not to call her back. I'm not saying I want him to talk to her, God knows I don't, but he should be able to make that decision on his own."

"But Rachel, he doesn't know who this is," said Phoebe. "He doesn't remember Emily. If we gave him this message, it would totally confuse him."

"Um, guys?"

"Even if that is true," Rachel argued, "we should just wait until he gets his memory back, it can't be that long now, it's already been a couple of days."

"Guys?"

"Rachel, I know you don't like Emily. I know you won't like Ross seeing Emily. It wouldn't be good for Ross to see Emily either, even if he did remember everything that's happened the last six years. It would be in everybody's best interest to erase this message."

"GUYS!"

Everyone jumped and turned. "WHAT, Joey?" asked Chandler, irritated.

"Anyone actually wondering where Ross is?" Joey asked. They all looked at each other. Then Rachel began to freak out. 

"Oh my god, oh my god," she said slowly. "She's here, isn't she? That stupid British stalker came to the building and found him and now she's messing with his head and making him remember all the wrong stuff, and she's going to steal him away and even if she can't he won't be Ross anymore because he'll remember all the wrong stuff because of that psycho controlling…EMILY!" Rachel paused for a breath, and everyone stared at her.

"I'm sure he's fine, Rach, probably only ran into someone in the hall," Chandler said. "I'll go grab him." He left quickly.

"Oh man, what if she does find him?" Rachel asked, crossing over to the couch and sitting down. "What if she does come here? What would happen?"

"Nothing, Rach," said Monica quickly. "Absolutely nothing. He wouldn't recognize her at this point anyway, and we would stop her before she said anything. And you have nothing to worry about, she wouldn't come here."

"You heard the message," Rachel said miserably. "She wants to get back together with him. What if he gets his memory back and decides to give it another try with her?"

"Ooh," said Monica softly. She realized what Rachel was worried about. "Rachel, come on. He's never going back to Emily, you know that."

"Do I?" asked Rachel. "How can I, Monica? Ross has made some pretty dumb decisions when it comes to relationships. I mean, he married Emily after only six weeks. He slept with the copy slut, Chloe, cheating on ME in the process! He married a lesbian, for crying out loud!"

"Rachel, we know," said Phoebe. "But all that was a long time ago, even if it doesn't seem that way to Ross. He broke up with Emily for a reason, and there's no way he would get back together with her."

"Ugh, you're right," sighed Rachel. I don't know why I'm doing this, I am freaking out!" She stopped and shook her head. "Y'know, I'm just gonna erase the message."

"NO!" yelled Monica, Joey and Phoebe in unison. Rachel started.

"Why not?" She argued. "You were all pushing for it five seconds ago!"

"But Rachel, you were right! The message is Ross's, and he needs to hear it when he gets his memory back!" argued Joey.

"Please?" begged Rachel, her finger hovering over the "ERASE" button.

"No, Rachel! Not going to happen!"

"You were right all along, Rachel!" said Monica, crossing over the apartment to stand in front of Rachel, her back to the door. "We can't erase someone's message even if it's good for them, it's not right! Ross needs to hear the message from Emily himself!" Someone behind her coughed.

"Who's Emily?"

Monica gasped. Joey and Phoebe looked at each other nervously. Rachel inhaled sharply and looked at the floor.

Monica wheeled around. Standing behind her, and looking very confused, was Ross. Chandler was next to him, his hand in front of his mouth, staring at her.

"She's…she's…" Monica frantically tried to come up with an excuse. "She's…nobody…"

"No one that matters," added Phoebe quickly.

"Not worth knowing," said Joey.

"You really should be glad you don't know," laughed Chandler nervously. Only Rachel said nothing.

"Seriously, you guys," said Ross, looking at them in bewilderment. He walked over to Rachel and gave her a hug. Then, all of a sudden, she pulled away. "Rach?"

Rachel stared back at him, eyes wide. 

"Ross. Emily…she's your ex-wife."

FINALLY the next chapter! I never get to update anymore, I need time! AH! Okay, I know this was really short, but hopefully it wasn't a complete waste of time, please leave a review, thanks for reading!


	7. Summaries

Chapter 6

"Ross…Emily. She's your ex-wife."

Everyone stared at Rachel in shock. The other four friends couldn't believe what she had just said. She had just revealed something major to Ross, which was sure to shock him, as he hadn't gotten his full memory back yet. He had no idea who Emily was, let alone that he had been married another time! From the expression on Ross's face, he seemed to be thinking the exact same thing. He was staring at Rachel as though he wasn't sure who was crazy – her or him.

"Wait, Rach…what?" Ross laughed nervously, staring at the pained expression on Rachel's face. "How…how? I mean, Carol's my ex-wife, not, not Emily, I mean, I've never married an Emily."

"Yes, you have," Rachel whispered. Tears were now running down her face. "Ross, the accident…something happened to your brain, part of your memory just went away. It's not 1997, it's 2003. You married and divorced Emily like five or six years ago."

"No, Rachel, what are you thinking?" Ross asked. "That never happened, I didn't lose my memory…right, you guys?" He looked at his other friends. The expressions on their faces were enough of an answer. "But…why? Why didn't you guys tell me?" 

"The doctor thought it would be best if we didn't," Chandler answered. "He figured it would come to you in a few days."

"But…god, I can't believe this!" Ross said, crossing to the couch and sitting down. "So the last six years of my life are just…gone?"

"Pretty much," Monica said. "You just don't remember anything. I'm sorry Ross, this has to be the weirdest feeling."

"Well, yeah," Ross agreed. "I want you guys to tell me everything, okay? Everything that happened since 1997. Maybe then, I'll remember."

"Okay," agreed Phoebe. "Well…what's the last thing you remember? Before the accident, I mean."

Ross shut his eyes, trying to think. "I was…going to the playdate with Ben…and the stripper mom! Yeah, that was it…I was talking to Rachel about us trusting each other in the coffeehouse, and then I left…and then I woke up in the hospital. But wait!" Ross turned to Rachel. "But…if I got married to this Emily person, then Rach…you and I, we…did we?"

"Yeah," said Rachel. "We broke up, Ross. I'm sorry."

"But…when? Why?" asked Ross, his eyes welling up. He looked devastated.

"A couple weeks after you remember, right before our anniversary…well, really on our anniversary, or kinda the day after, really."

"Why?" Ross asked again. "Rachel, please, I have to know why."

"I can't," Rachel whispered, sinking down on the other side of the couch.

"Rachel's co-worker, Mark," said Monica, stepping in. "You got so jealous of him, you were convinced that Rachel wanted to be with him."

"My god, was I really that stupid?" Ross asked.

"Oh yeah," Monica told him. "So then you guys had a fight, and you left and went to a club with Joey and Chandler, and you…" Monica broke off. "I can't say it either, can someone…"

"Ross," said Joey softly, "you…you ended up…sleeping with Chloe the Xerox girl." He finished his sentence very fast and held his breath, waiting for Ross's reaction.

"I…I WHAT?" yelled Ross, completely shocked. "No way, it had to be something else, I would never do that!" He looked at Rachel, who nodded at him. "Oh my god…I…why? Rach, I'm so sorry, I…" He broke off and hugged her. She didn't pull away, just held on and let tears continue down her face.

"It really wasn't your fault, Ross," she whispered. "We were on a break."

The other four looked at her in shock again. Had she just admitted to being on a break?

"Um, okay, this is pretty Twilight Zone," said Chandler loudly, "but Ross, do you want to hear what else has happened?"

"Well, yeah," Ross admitted. "I mean, I want to know, I want to remember, but if it's all stupid stuff like that, I don't know if I really want to know…you know?"

"Oh no, that's pretty much the stupidest thing you did," Phoebe told him. "Well, maybe except for the time you got married in Vegas…"

"I got married in VEGAS??" repeated Ross. "Why? To who? Oh my god, am I married now?"

"No, no," Monica assured him. "Just listen, we'll tell you everything…" she paused. "I don't know where to start."

"Well, after you and Rachel broke up," began Chandler, causing Ross to look down, "everything was pretty touchy for awhile, neither of you really found anyone else you wanted to be with, you guys only managed to get back together for like a day-"

"And about the same time you did, Chandler peed on Monica!" Joey broke in. Chandler glared at him. "What? You said we were gonna tell him everything!"

"Not THAT kind of thing!" Chandler hissed.

"ANYWAY," Monica interrupted, "That kinda went away for awhile. Then Rachel accidentally set you up with her boss's niece, a British girl named Emily. You guys hit it off, and you proposed to her after six weeks."

"Six weeks?" repeated Ross in disbelief. "Were we really that close?"

"Nope," said Chandler. "I don't know what you were thinking. So a few weeks later, you, me, Monica, Joey and Emily all go back to London for the wedding, and-"

"Wait," Ross interrupted. "Phoebe? Rachel, where were you guys?"

"Oh, I was pregnant with my brother's triplets!" said Phoebe brightly. Seeing the expression on Ross's face, she quickly added, "Oh, no, don't worry! It was him and his wife's baby, it was just growing in my uterus."

"Right," said Ross slowly. "Rach, why…why weren't you there?"

"I couldn't go," she said softly. "I just couldn't go and watch you get married, and anyway, Phoebe needed help."

"Yeah, but then she ditched me to fly over and tell you she was still in love with you."

"You were?" Ross whispered. Rachel didn't answer.

"Yeah, but she backed out at the last minute," Chandler said. "But you managed to screw the wedding up, anyway. Guess whose name you said at the altar?"

"I Ross take the Rachel," Joey said in a deep voice.

"Really? I did that? God, I just got stupider by the minute!" said Ross.

"Lucky for you, or maybe unlucky, Emily kept going with the ceremony, but she didn't come back to the US, and she decided that you guys couldn't stay married unless you promised never to see Rachel again."

"Oh god, please tell me I picked Rachel," Ross begged.

"Yes, eventually, you did just that, luckily," Monica said. "So Emily went away, and Phoebe had her babies and gave them to her brother and his wife, a forty year old home ec teacher."

"And all went well for awhile," Chandler continued, "until Vegas."

"Whoa, wait just one minute!" Rachel interrupted. "What about the other stuff that happened in London?" she asked, glaring at Chandler.

"Yeah, it's no fair just telling him what he did, he has to know what you guys have been doing!" Phoebe added. "Go on, tell him!"

Chandler frowned. "Oh yeah…Joey had a thing with Emily's bridesmaid! Moving on-"

"That's not what I meant and you know it!" Phoebe yelled.

"Come on Phoebe, he'll remember, we don't really have to tell him," Monica insisted.

"No, you need to tell him!" Phoebe argued.

"Someone tell me!" Ross complained.

"Chandler and Monica had sex in London!!!!" Joey yelled. Everything fell silent as everyone stared at him.

"There you go," Rachel said.

"Joey!" Chandler cried.

"What? You said tell him everything!" Joey complained. 

Everyone noticed that Ross's face was bright red. Finally, he managed to speak… "THEY WHAT??? YOU SLEPT WITH MY SISTER? I'M GOING TO-"

"Ross, calm down!" Rachel interrupted, grabbing his arm. "It's okay!"

"OKAY?? THEY….THEY…THEY…"

"We know, we know, and you had this same reaction when you found out before, but you got over it! And you can do that now!"

"Fine!" Ross let go of Chandler, whom he had pinned up against the wall, and sat back down. "But you guys never did it again, right?"

"Er…" Monica said uncomfortable. Chandler sighed and pulled his ring out of his pocket, slipping it onto his finger. Monica did the same.

Ross stared at the identical gold bands. "You guys got MARRIED?"

The other friends braced themselves for a second outburst, but Ross leapt up and threw his arms around Chandler and Monica. "Oh my god, you guys, that is so great! My best friend and my sister!"

"Ross…can't…breathe…" Monica squeaked. Ross quickly pulled back.

"Sorry, I'm just really happy! But I still want to hear what else happened," he added.

"Alright then," Chandler agreed. "Where were we? Ah yes, Vegas! The slot machine capital of the country. Cha-CHING!" Everyone stared at him.

"Maybe I'LL tell it," Monica interrupted. "Okay, Vegas. Chandler and I decide to go for our one-year anniversary, and since Phoebe couldn't go to London with us, she decides that we all should go."

"You bet your ass I did," Phoebe muttered.

"So while we're there, Chandler and I get a little crazy and decide to get married," Monica continued. "So we go to the chapel, and as we're about to go in, you and Rachel run out."

"You got married!" Joey proclaimed.

"What?" Ross laughed. "In Vegas? Were we crazy?"

"Nah. Drunk," Rachel confirmed. "You drew on my face, I drew on your face, I made you drink, you made me drink, it got a little weird."

"So, to make a long story short…" Chandler continued.

"Too late," chimed Phoebe and Joey in unison, high fiving each other.

"…we get back to New York, you promise to get the annulment, you don't, you end up getting divorced," Chandler went on.

"Wait. So that means I've been divorced…" Ross counted on his fingers. "THREE times? Wow, I am such a loser! What woman is EVER going to want to date me again? Not that I want to, of course," he added quickly, glancing at Rachel.

"Oh, we've been down that road already," Phoebe assured him. "The three divorces weren't a problem, it was the fact that you were still in love with Rach…" she trailed off, realizing her mistake. "Oh, no."

"What?" Rachel whispered. "How…how did I not know this?"

"Yeah, how did you not? It was so obvious," said Joey.

"Shut UP, Joey," Monica hissed.

"Anyway," Chandler continued, "that pretty much takes us up to only like two years ago, not bad."

"Oh, are we at Barbados already?" Phoebe asked, surprised.

"No, Pheebs, that was like two months ago," Monica said.

"We went to Barbados? Anything interesting happen there?" asked Ross.

"Nah. You kissed another dinosaur-freak, and Joey and Rachel got together…" Phoebe trailed off again. "Whoops."

Ross stared at her. "What? Phoebe, I…WHAT?"

"Nothing happened," Joey said quickly.

"Yeah, they didn't do it, just made out for a couple days," Phoebe agreed. Everyone glared at her. "Alright, this is the part where someone shuts me up!"

"You, you…you and Joey?" Ross asked Rachel disbelievingly.

"Ross, it's over. Nothing happened, it lasted like two days," Rachel assured him. "It's in the past. Please, don't get upset."

"Don't get upset?" Ross echoed incredulously. "Ten minutes ago I had a girlfriend that I love so much, and now I find out that not only did we break up six years ago, but that she had a fling with one of my best friends?"

"Ross, I-" Rachel tried.

"No, Rachel, no!" Ross cut in. "You know what, I don't think I can take any more of this." He grabbed his coat and walked out the door.

"Oh yeah!" Phoebe sprinted to the door and flung it open. "YOU HAVE A BABY!!!" she screamed down the hallway. They heard a thump on the stairs. Phoebe paused and shut the door. "Somebody stop me!!!!"

Don't have time to say much except SORRY it's been so long! Review please! Thanks!


End file.
